Become a fly swattin' MASTAH!!!

Photo by Gabriel Manlake on Unsplash

A fast and easy way to swat that fly! 

(Useful facts #2)

The endless battle. The ongoing war. Epic. Challenging. Ongoing. Words we think of when trying to catch or kill an annoying house fly. Killing these pesky creatures have always been a bane to human existence (other than the notoriously malicious mosquitoes) and they are really hard to thwart or in the case of this post, swat. These filthy beasts are no joke and they're super fast but, there is a way and we will get to the bottom of it and slay these tiny dragons!

Here comes the fluff. Read the details or (skip to the outline). 

Step 1: Arm thy self!

Image by azboomer from Pixabay

Yup, that's right! Time to go to the arsenal and arm yourself. You ask yourself "should I use a book? Rolled up newspaper? The good ol' fashioned fly swatter? Any of these are good choices but in my experience, simple is better. 

I would go with something that isn't too big and something that won't break dishes, electronics, etc. No collateral damage is the goal and keep in mind we are avoiding hazardous chemicals, stinky/sticky traps, and sprays. Our objective is to swat this thing out of existence not spray poison all over everything you care about. 

It is probably a good idea to avoid books or anything heavy. My personal choice is a dish rag as you can cover a lot of area and if you don't kill it on the first swat you may be able to trap under the rag. A typical swatter is a good second choice as its swift and gets the job done but, I prefer a buckshot approach opposed to a single bullet 😉.

Step 2: Know thouest enemy!

Image by

Fly Cycle 

These little devils are pretty insane. To beat the enemy, you must know the enemy. First of all lets talk about their birthing as motivation to take initiative on the hunt. The average house fly can live between 2 weeks to around 3 months. They can produce up to around 800 or more eggs. You can guess what comes next, ...up to around 800 or more maggots. Yuck! That eventually turn into 800 or more flies. Luckily such a spawning ground is not very common for the average home. Hopefully.

They're faster than us.

They're faster than us ...in a sense. Flies have the upper hand as they can take in much more information visually than we can. They're equipped with five eyes and two antenna which improves their visual information intake and as a result, reaction time by at least seven times that of a human. That means we either got to get seven times faster or outsmart the beasts!

Step 3: "Strategery"

Borrowed off Medium.com & made famous on SNL

Weapon of choice

A fly swatter is generally porous which offers less wind resistant and ideally speed, which is what you'll need. On top of that, they're light weight and thin which makes them easy to handle at any age and won't create much, if any collateral damage.

I personally prefer a damp dish rag. It's small enough to handle without being cumbersome, you can cover a lot of area, and soft enough not to cause any damage as well. It's generally wider and the weight of the damp rag can make it difficult to escape.

Now plan your attack

STEP ONE! Turn off the lights!

The first step and the most important step would be to turn off the lights. Like most insects, flies love light and can't see too well in the dark. Turning off the light will most of the time force them to land. Upon landing from, my experience, brings them to our level and they can't take in nearly as much of that information as they did with the lights on. Neither could we but hey, at least we're on equal playing fields now.

STEP TWO! To bait, or not to bait!

Baiting can be "de-bait-able". Baits can be messy. From apply cider vinegar, old meat, old fruit, sticky sugar mixtures, a combination of any or all ...it can be just as messy or disgusting as the fly itself. To top it off, we're swatting fly here, which would mean bait can end up as an explosive mess on impact.

The best bait in my experience, with tactic number one down of turning off the lights, is light. You can open a small window or a small flashlight to attract the little demon. This will make it harder to spot you too as the surroundings should be relatively dark and it will lure him to a concentrated spot. 

STEP THREE! The prowl!

Get into your inner feline. Bend those knees, move slowly, or even sit still till your prey makes a landing. Oh! ...and he will. Trust me! You need to be patient and embrace the thrill of the hunt. Sit still, listen and look around. Once he lands, its time to pounce!

STEP FOUR! Draw out the beast! (optional)

Can't find your prey? Draw them out. It may seem silly and to be honest a little fun, but dance around a bit till you hear that buzz, switch the lights back on for a while until you see or hear movement, or flail around your weapon to produce some wind to bug your bug.

Step 4: ATTACK!

Image by Gratisography from pexels

Now its time to attack with those cat-like reflexes! You want to be sure that your at least an arms length away from your target. Any further you are just going to be fanning the little prince. With a fly swatter, it may be a little difficult to give a whipping effect however, with a dish rag you want to hold it firmly with your main hand and pull it back with your alternate. Then whip that sucker! 

Once the fly is down DO NOT trust that it's dead. You may have just stunned it and this only gives you a few seconds of a window to do the final blow with your weapon, paper towel, or napkin.

MISSION COMPLETE

That's all there is too it! With these steps it has worked for me every single time and despite having a pest in the house this has made it pretty fun and effective.

EXTRA

If your fly escapes and you don't want to set traps or just given up on the hunt, here's a sad little fact. When a fly is stuck in a house it will panic, stress out, and distressfully buzz around until death. It does not want to be trapped in your home. This is why we find dead flies at the bottom of a window sill most, of the time. They are trying to get out! They'll keep crashing into that glass until death. (SPOILER) Sort of like the hospital scene at the beginning of the movie Bird Box.

So you skipped ahead to the easy mode outline. (To Top)

That's ok. To be honest, time is precious and I don't blame you! Here's what I got for you.

1. Select a weapon. I would suggest a damp dish rag as it covers the most amount of area, it's fast, and available.
2. Know that your enemy is fast ...really fast!
3. Turning off the lights will make the fly land and be less aware of its surroundings. It will give you the upper hand.
4. You can bait, I suggest light from a window or small light source. Other baits can be messy.
5. Sit still, move slow, track movements and get close.
6. OPTIONAL: If you can't find it, fan around to make it move to another location.
7. Stay arms length striking distance.
8. Whip the fly!
9. If stunned, you have a few seconds to squish it.